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 Marriage counseling is one of the best things a couple can do to not only maintain a healthy relationship, but build one where both partners thrive. Think of marriage counseling in terms of physical fitness: to improve and maintain your health, you don't want to wait until illness sets in to start exercising. You also can't just work out once in a while and hope to see ongoing benefits.
Many couples wait until their relationships is in a state of illness before seeking help, at which point there are so many unresolved issues it takes a lot of time and effort to get to a place where healing can happen. At times it may be too late - the resentment and hurt outweigh create such a heavy load that neither of the partners are willing to do the amount of work it takes.
But for those couples that participate in marriage counseling on a regular basis, they not only are aware of the issues the have in their relationship and within themselves, but they have a foundation of tools and experience to work through the inevitable unexpected challenges that arise. Relationships are a marathon, and you have to train to go the distance.
A typical marriage counseling session begins with a conversation about what brings you and your partner to the session. Answers may range from working through an irritation to avoiding an impending divorce. As each partner speaks their truth about their experience, the therapist will begin to see patterns that block the partners from working through the issue. For some couples it may be simple communication styles that don’t mesh well, and for others it may be profound fears of intimacy and abandonment. Regardless of the issue, one of the first tasks in therapy is to learn to see your relationship in a new way, a way that allows you to work beyond your sticking point to more fertile ground.
There is no "one way" for a couple to benefit from what marriage counseling has to offer. Of course you can attend sessions with a counselor or therapist on a regular basis, but there are additional ways to "do your work. Perhaps you and your partner attend marital workshops a few times a year, and have a self-study program that helps you take what you learn and put it into practice. Attending a couples group each month is also a wonderful means of marriage counseling, because you get the benefits of working on your relationship as well as participating in a social setting. Sometimes seeing other couple's work helps you to better identify your own.
Marriage counseling is such an important aspect of maintaining a health, constructive and mutually rewarding relationship between partners. By the way, you don't have to be married to do marriage counseling. "Relationship Counseling" would be a better label (and probably more inviting for unmarried, heterosexual, gay or lesbian couples who could benefit from improving their relationship). Regardless of the label, marriage counseling will make a positive lasting difference for the rest of your life.
About the Author: Patrick J. Hall is the Founder of Lotus Group and a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT). He specializes in caring for adolescents/teens and their families, individual adults, and parenting issues.
Lotus Group has Medical Doctors on staff and provides a full spectrum of family counseling, group therapy, play therapy, and mental health services for individuals and couples. Areas of specialization include, grief counseling, psychiatric services, eating disorders, chemical dependency and spiritual counseling. Lotus Group is committed to providing quality, access, confidentiality, and holistic treatment for all their clients.
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